If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my being single is dangerous.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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