i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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