Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently you make a good broom.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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