were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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