I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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