I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize