You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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