OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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