This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize