I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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