wrigley field is MILF paradise
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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