I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize