Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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