pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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