my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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