I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize