I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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