Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize