I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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