I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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