So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
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All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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