i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize