Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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