no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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