just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize