currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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