Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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