why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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