So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize