is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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