I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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