every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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