Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize