Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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