Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize