hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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