I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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