In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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