Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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