I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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