We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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