I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize