let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize