i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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