i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize