just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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