So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize