Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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