I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize