nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize